The lives of the women in the Bible present to us diverse issues, trends, decisions and opportunities that caused the lives of these women to be affected either positively or negatively. Real stories from real people help us to see things to avoid, things to do and ultimately be intentional about making the right choices in life. Judah, the son of Jacob had three sons: Er, Onan and Shelah. Er married Tamar “but Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death” (Genesis 38:7). To raise offspring for Er, Judah told Onan to sleep with Tamar. “But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also” (Genesis 38:9-10). Thus Judah lost two sons and Tamar lost two husbands. Their culture permitted Shelah to also marry Tamar but Shelah was young. Therefore “Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household” (Genesis 38:11). Tamar must have been a broken widow. She had seen two husbands die. That experience must have been awful for the young woman. Tamar went to her father’s house as a widow with the anticipation that Shelah will grow and take responsibility over her. Judah was also afraid that his son Shelah might die just like Er and Onan and so when Shelah grew up Tamar was not given as a wife to him. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked. (Genesis 38:15-16) Tamar, the woman who had suffered loss, was not happy about this and decided to handle the issue her own way. Dressing up as a prostitute, Tamar sat at the entrance of the city to put her plan into action. Judah had also lost his wife and had just recovered from his grief. “When Judah saw her [Tamar], he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked.” (Genesis 38:15-16). Judah’s urge to sleep with the prostitute caused him to sleep with his own daughter-in-law. Leaving his seal and its cord and his staff with Tamar as the pledge, Judah returned later to pay the prostitute the agreed fee but she was nowhere to be found and neither was she recognized by the people living there. Judah, knowing that he had tried to pay off the prostitute but he couldn’t find her decided to leave the matter. Both Tamar and Judah had loose opportunities: Tamar’s opportunity was a vulnerable father-in-law looking for intimacy and Judah’s opportunity was a widow looking to get the attention of her father-in-law. Both opportunities were not desirable but Tamar was determined and Judah wanted satisfaction. At the end, the deal was done and both left for separate homes. “About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.” Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!” (Genesis 38:24). Tamar was liable to death for her action but Judah the chief culprit was a free man. He condemned Tamar outright without mercy. Tamar should die was Judah’s verdict. But the story doesn’t end there. “As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.” Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.” (Genesis 38:25-26). Tamar was vindicated but it does not take away the fact that she had an issue with her father-in-law. Both Tamar and Judah might have faced stigmatization for their actions. Why did God even allow such a story to be documented in the Bible? The truth is, God takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). Tamar and Judah were all broken and messy but through them God’s eternal plan for salvation continued. Tamar’s pregnancy resulted in the birth of twins, Perez and Zerah. Perez is a great great grandfather of Jesus the Messiah. God’s ultimate plan for humanity was achieved even with broken people. When you come to Christ, your past is not used against you. He weaves His beautiful story of salvation into your own story and the result is a beautiful masterpiece of God’s grace and favour. Society might reject you for the way you had lived in the past, but God’s mercy doesn’t condemn. God’s verdict is “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3).
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