Marriage ceremonies are performed differently around the world. However, one theme remains the same: the coming together of a man and a woman to spend life together. Most marriage ceremonies are marked by pomp and circumstance, glamor, affluence, and rich display of culture and/or religious activities. The bride and the groom are the biggest center of attraction. Most times, people tend to focus on the general appearance of the bride as compared with the groom. Middle Eastern celebrations of marriage are full of amazing cultural displays with the bride and the groom given royalty statuses on the occasion. Many songs are sung to celebrate the love between the bride and the groom. The book of Song of Songs, which is associated with King Solomon, tells of a love story between a man and a woman. These songs were arranged from courtship love songs, wedding love songs and songs about the consummation of their marriages. Song of Songs is one of the two books in the Bible (the other being the book of Esther), where the name of God is not mentioned. Yet, we see the story display the love of God towards his people and how God yearns to be close to his bride (that is the church).
How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. (Song of Songs 1:15)
Like Proverbs 31, the bride in Song of Songs does not point to one specific person. This bride is affectionately in love with her groom. The bride and the groom share affectionate words of love: "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." (Song of Songs 1:2, 4a). Her groom also tells her: "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves." (Song of Songs 1:15). Throughout the book, we see natural and unfiltered love words shared by this couple. They show their love through words and actions. They are not shy to even praise the body of each other and how they are satisfied by it:
"Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. (Song of Songs 4:5)
"Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon." (Song of Songs 4:11)
Further, metaphors of love are also used:
"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies." (Song of Songs 4:1-5)
In all the beautiful display of love, we see that this love is well grounded and protected. We see that the love of the man for the woman is like a banner covering her: "Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love." (Song of Songs 2:4). We are also told the dangers of awakening love when it is not time: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Songs 3:5). The book makes it specific that there is a time for romantic love and until that time is due, the man and the woman should not force their way through. This also warns about premarital romance and sexual immorality. Love is presented as a beautiful expression. However, when love is expressed at the wrong time, the result is disaster. The bride in Song of Songs had prepared, been equipped, trained, mentored for her groom. Similarly, the groom has gone through preparation and mentorship. Thus on the marriage occasion, they can fully explore and love each other unashamedly and without remorse.
Love is a beautiful thing. The expressions of love in marriage reflect the love of God for humanity. Thus, when your love meter does not measure the standard of God, it means you have more work to do as a couple. The Apostle Paul, compares love in marriages to God's bigger agenda for the church. He says: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:25-33)
"Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned." (Song of Songs 8:7).
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